Celebration & Dementia

The great thing about traditions is you can choose to keep old ones alive (or not) while creating new traditions. Our traditions change as I change. Sometimes what worked last time will not work this time. Preserve some traditions by making modifications. For example, use a flameless (battery-operated) menorah.

"I decorate my house and Christmas tree differently now. I have a seven-year-old grandson and we decorate the Christmas tree with lights and ornaments that look like candy. When we are finished, we turn out the lights and sit quietly together enjoying the twinkling lights and a quiet time together." - Bonnie

"I have a large, rambunctious, fun-loving family. Their fun can be overwhelming for me, so I go to another room and take a nap while they are engaging in an activity. For example, every Thanksgiving while I am napping, my family has a gingerbread house-building contest. Although I am sleeping, I am still involved because the grandkids are trying to build a house that will appeal to me when I wake up, I will select the best gingerbread house. I keep the grandkids motivated and excited with a cash prize for the winner." - Mark

"I keep a notebook throughout the year to jot down gift ideas as people identify a desire or need. If I purchase a gift, I write that down too. I should write down where I have stored the gift because I can forget where I put it." -Monica.

Consider drawing names for Christmas gifts to reduce the number of gifts needed (and save money too).

"It has become overwhelming to shop. I wrap a gift and I have no idea what is in the box until they open it. We now draw names and buy gag gifts. There is no pressure, and it is lots of fun to see all the silly things." - Bonnie

Avoid the overwhelming experience of going to stores and ordering online. Keep your shopping list short and make multiple trips to the store to buy only a few items each time. When checking out of the store, use the express lane but not the self-checkout. Shop early in the morning before the store gets busy.

"Our family has selected a restaurant that is nice and quiet to host our celebrations." - Lee

Avoid the stress associated with having your home ready for guests by asking someone else to host the celebration at their home, preferably in a comfortable and familiar location.

Avoid the stress of an unfamiliar environment by hosting celebrations in your own home where the environment is familiar.

Select a party location that has a quiet space or room.

Have a plan set in your mind – a place to go. You may want to share the plan with your care partner or another person to avoid questions and concern about where you went or if are you okay.

"If it is a large party and I need a break, I look for a quiet location to get away. Sometimes I go outside for a short walk. Other times, I will use a spare bathroom as my quiet space." - Steven

"Musician earplugs have worked great for me and allowed me to focus on one conversation." - Rose

Earplugs on a cord help avoid losing earplugs (same with glasses). Shaded glasses can help reduce visual stimulation or a sleep mask that covers your eyes can help.

"I have fuzzy earmuffs that I put on as a visual cue to others that I need to reduce my auditory stimulation. I can still hear what is going on around me, but it reduces the sound a little bit. It is an easier way to communicate that I need to reduce the auditory input than asking others to tone it down." - Joanna

Select your seating carefully. Choose a small table. If a large table is the only one available, select a seat at the corner or end of the table to limit the number of persons interacting and having conversations.

Also, select a seat with your back against the wall so that you can see who is coming and going. However, for some people, having your back to the door limits visual stimulation.

"Cognitive fatigue is as real as physical fatigue, and I conserve my cognitive energy for what matters most to me. For example, I typically have the energy and ability to wash my own hair and dress myself, but I am usually spent when I am finished. So, on a party day, I accept help with personal care so that I can expend my energy with people." - Joanna

When traveling out of town, allow a day to rest between traveling and the celebration. Ask a friend or hire someone to clean your home. Plan plenty of time to prepare to avoid the pressure of being late for a celebration. Keep the celebration short or leave early, as needed.